When I Remember!
Thought like any aspect of this life I am experiencing is in constant flux - Thoughts come and they go. I know this too in the depths of my being - within my heart where all inteligence dwells.
Likewise, belief does the same - Belief is in flux and they can come and go. I can have little 'beliefs' or Beliefs which are so rooted in my Ancestry, not only of our Stories, our Parents, our grandparents, our ancestors, our blood line, our Mamilian memories, our Anphibian memories, but going back to the very root of who we are. When I reach the source, when I see and feel and experience this Source once again with 'beliefs' trailing behind me, cast off by remembering I can come back to who, and what, we all really are - Shakti! (pure love)
From this place of Being, re-discovered by re.membering, I am able to recognise the mists, the dust, the barnacles, the weeds in this garden of my precious life and I am able to clear them away.
It is frustrating when the housework is done and then just 2 days later it has to be done all over again! - I scream silently to myself "but I did it just a few days ago!! and now I have to do it all over again" - I have to remind myself that either I accept this - that I will have to do this regularily, or I get more money and get someone else to do it! But do you know I've come to love the housework, it has become a part of my 'practice' - an opportunity to focus, really focus, to breathe, to really feel that beautiful breath, to notice little things, to feel gratitude that I can have this moment, this amazing gift of life. All this just from the housework!
Likewise in the garden. I spend hours, days, cutting back the brambles, to let the light in and to safegurad myself from harm, I clear away the nettles, because they sting me - but I do remember that they too have their purpose, and often they wake me up - a sharp sting and I remember this moment! they wake me up to my'self' - so I am in awareness of their purpose and thank them as I move them to a safer distance to prevent them from stopping me going places in my garden.
But the weeds they come - they keep on coming - they will always keep on coming, it is their Dharma, it is their Nature - it is up to me to come into this presence and realise that there is no end to this work.
'Work' sounds laborious, but it dosent have to be - moment by methodical moment, it can be done, so that with awareness the soft, sensual breath can be felt in everything we do. Awareness of how we feel - right now- can become obvious. If the feeling is not what we want we can look at it, we can notice what it is 'about' - this moment which dosen't feel good - and we can begin to weed, dust, remove the barnacles and let the light of what we do want to feel, in to our lives again. What we do want is always here, pulsating in every glorious moment, we just need to do the work - the delicious divine work of drawing back the curtains, which by their own very nature need to shut from time to time - We can be gentle in our work, softly regain the clarity we need, softly thanking our distractions for the opportunities for awakening they bring and then dive into the ocean of joy again, just waiting there, deep and still and warm.