The conflict arises from the ego'self' - when we hear the voice which says : "who are you to assume that you know what is good for this person? - he/she is asking for your help, your sympathy, give it!" - But then there is also the universal'Self' which says: "your friend is hurting, you know how this feels, you have felt this pain yourself, and you know that your friend is asking for truth - because you know that truth is the only true healer." You remember that Truth is love and removes false ideas and shines its light into the darkness and holds your hand to guide you through.
Listening to this voice from your heart, from this offering of truth, acting on it by holding this space with openness and love for your friend, {regardless that this may trigger initial pain, in the form of anger or disassociation} Here there is the opportunity for them to re.cognise this place and remember. From this comes an acceptance, clarity and trust, authenticity and respect. In this space, in this moment a portal opens and pure love of one's true 'Self' floods back in and courage is offered and taken, and the ego steps aside and the heart recognises this reality and the emotional pain dissolves into the mists of the past where it truly belongs.
We can help to free each other by offering the light of the present moment and standing firm against the fear of loss or reproach - Love and knowing is always stronger and this is the most powerful service we can offer.
(Have a look at these 2 LESSONS BELOW WHICH TOUCH ON EMPATHY)
Lesson 41 - (in a Course in Miracles)
"God goes with me wherever I go" -
"Today's idea will eventually overcome completely the sense of loneliness and abandonment all the separated ones experience. Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering and intense fear of loss.
The separated ones have invented many "cures" for what they believe to be "the ills of the world." But the one thing that they do not do is to question the reality of the problem. Yet its effects cannot be cured because the problem is not real . . . . . . . . . . . . . . foolishness it is despite the serious and tragic forms it might take.
Deep within you is everything that is perfect, ready to radiate through you and out into the world. It will cure all sorrow and pain and fear and loss because it will heal the mind that thought these things were real, and suffered out of its allegiance to them. . . . . . . . . . . .
You can never suffer because the source of all joy goes with you wherever you go. You can never be alone because the source of all life goes with you wherever you go. Nothing can destroy your peace of mind because God (or your 'creator' or universal 'Self' or whatever term you might prefer) goes with you wherever you go. . . . . . . "
Thing is do we remember? - It's difficult and there is often a purpose to our 'stories' but to step aside and see them for what they are (ultimately pieces of gold!) and not become victims to them is not easy.
For me the most important tool is to remember that I AM ALIVE and I do this by remembering my breath as it comes into me moment by moment - I cling to this with all my might, with all the attention I can muster, as if it were a lifeboat pulling me from the engulfing waves of the storm - and it works, so long as I stay with it until the storm has passed and the skies open again and I can see the sun. - "The source of all life goes with you" is so true and the tangible gift of breath is the most extraordinary, steadfast, constant tool I have to help me realise this and use this knowledge to pull me back into the present moment (or 'holy instant') where truth and 'reality' lies.
Chapter 16 - THE FORGIVENESS OF ILLUSIONS
True Empathy
The capacity to empathize is very useful to the Holy Spirit, provided you let him use it in his way. He does not understand suffering and would have you teach it is not understandable. When he relates through you, he does not relate through your ego to another ego. He does not join in pain, understanding that healing pain is not accomplished by delusional attempts to enter into it, and lighten it by sharing the delusion . . . . . . . . . . the ego always empathizes to weaken . . . . . . if you will merely sit quietly by and let the Holy Spirit relate through you, you will empathize with strength, and will gain in strength and not in weakness" . (a Course in Miracles)
Sometimes it is helpful to substitute the words' Holy Spirit', 'He' & Him' for Universal Self, or Awareness, or Creator or whatever term captures this life force which sustains us for you personally.