THE ROOTS OF MY MESSAGE
I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, at a time when it was considered preferable to be seen but not heard. From an early age I was conditioned to listen to my elders and not expect them to listen to me! I learnt that what I had to say was not valuable. This was frustrating because deep down I knew I had lots to share and more especially with my ‘Elders’. This was a period of great change and new beginnings and I knew I had been born to grow with this change and assist in bringing forward a new kind of awareness, a rediscovering of ‘love’ – true love – An understanding and remembrance of what this ‘love’ really is, what it really means.
My early childhood was full of freedom and I learnt from ‘experience’, a luxury for most children today – Mother Nature was my teacher and my guide until the age of nine. Soon after this, my outer freedom was halted, but in its place I found an Inner freedom - A sanctuary, where I found my In.dependence, a knowing guide, a trust and simple connection with all things. My outer world was in constant flux, but the inner world of my'Self' was safe and constant.
When I left school and the material security of my family was behind me and I headed out into the ‘world’ I witnessed so much hypocrisy and ignore.ance in so much of society, that I became disillusioned and longed for a new way to express and connect, other than through my ‘religion’, which up until now had served me well. I wanted to share the beauty and the joy that I felt inside, I wanted to celebrate life!
My insatiable interest in human consciousness - in how and what it is that makes us tick – has taken me in many varied and unexpected directions and each one has led to the awareness that fundamentally we all long for connection. This human need for ‘connection’, and this longing to belong, is the seed of many of our problems throughout history and nothing seems to change. With this desire to belong we have become inadvertently divided. Our longing to connect is separating us from each other because somewhere we have forgotten the knowledge that we already are connected, we already are one, we already are perfect, right now and that we don’t have to protect ourselves in ‘camps’ or ‘organizations’ that vie with each other to be ‘right’, to compete and be ‘better than’, but that we are all right – Yes alright – we are o.k. just as we are!.
The permission to be “just as we are” is what I longed for, to be fully accepted and received with my small offerings of humanness – of love.
Moving with the wave in the 70’s on this search for change and connectedness, I joined the experimentation with all the various quick fixes to feeling good and discovering new realities and finding a sense of place, but in doing all this I became depleted and began to feel an emptiness and I longed to reconnect with my source and the innocence I once knew. I concluded that if a new and heightened awareness and a real feeling of union could be triggered by stimulants from the outside, it made sense to assume that these same ‘triggers’ could be activated by natural means from the inside!
The simple feeling of ‘love’ I had felt as a child was beginning to elude me now and this love of life was what I was born to express. I was at a crossroads unable to move forward because I was out of connection with this ‘source’ and was unable to feel its pull and its purity any more, I had lost touch with that very experience I wanted to share.
I needed help. I longed for it. I asked for it. I prayed for it.
I had a dream: The dream released me from the false idea that I had to hold on to old paradigms, old beliefs and old ideas. It revealed that true knowledge is imparted moment by moment and that there is always someone alive and available to remind me of this and show me how to get back in touch with it, as all the Ancient Sages had done. Soon after this dream I found my Teacher and through a process of uncovering, of opening, of peeling away the layers of untruth, like peeling away the layers of an onion, I began to recognise my conditioning, recognise my inherent beliefs, witness my thinking mind, experience its fear and its trickiness, its control. I became a vessel, a channel, I rediscovered openness, I became clear, I entered ‘Self’ awareness, I became able to feel again, I became able to really feel. I was reintroduced to my inner child. The Presence, which never changes. I entered the perfection of the present moment and witnessed the light and beauty there. I felt pure unconditional love and I realised that this was me. It was within me! And it always had been, always was and always will be. I also realised that this experience is fundamental to every single human being on this planet and that this is in fact HOME! That all my fears derive from a series of false beliefs namely that I am separate, and that I am my thoughts.
This overwhelming and unquestionable experience of unity that I felt and the knowledge that we are all deeply connected and made of the same ‘stuff’ and flowing, day by day, towards the same ocean from which we came, has been the most profound foundation upon which my simple expression is rooted. My thoughts are tools to create and express my individuality and we are not separate but connected by the very experience of life itself.
Conditioning is like glue, it is transparent and difficult to see, but you can sense it – It prevents movement, prevents change, goes against life, which by its very nature is forever changing. Without this daily practice of awareness, this remembrance and coming back into the present moment to witness this and begin to remove it day by day, loosen its grip by chipping away at it with focus and concentration, we can be led astray by this ‘programming’. We are the choice makers; we do not need to be victims. There is a source which is working with this ‘Love’ – this creative power and it’s this which gives us life – it is this which allows us to Express and Inspire and remember who we really are everyday of our lives.
With this knowledge, so simple and so life changing and the urge in me so natural to want to share it, I found myself in another conundrum – How could I do that? How could I share that wholeness I felt? There seemed to be no language for it – it was obvious that the ‘experience’ was outside of the Thinking Mind and therefore impossible to share in simple words. I tried to capture its beauty through art and writing and creativity of all kinds. I dabbled in music, became a health practitioner and healer and ultimately realized that I was a ‘Jack of all trades and master of none’! This was o.k. as it furthered another desire I have; to step into as many shoes as possible to learn compassion and my journey so far has provided this - Witnessing what makes life so very special, seeing the unique talents we all have, the individuality. These infinite expressions of this ‘creator’ individuating through us, bringing this experience into the finite and how mesmerizing and exciting these offerings really are. This is ‘The Mystery’ - The one Mystery we must never solve because if we do, the world would collapse in on itself and become pointless. Literally!
I wanted to be inspiring, I wanted to voice what I knew, I wasn’t good at handling rejection and avoided it at all costs! I tried to live my life expressing as I could, searching for a medium which would reflect this source I was feeling, noticing the language of others by reading and listening. All the while practising this method of going within which I had been taught by my teacher, whilst bursting with renewed enthusiasm to share it.
My reluctance and frustration at not being able to voice my ‘experience’ and find the ‘perfect’ medium and my increased procrastination in speaking up and not taking my light from ‘under the bushel’ led to an illness which stopped me in my tracks.
I began an amazing ‘healing journey’ and went in search of a cure. What I experienced re.minded me and encouraged me to let go of control, to be in allowance and to truly remember who I am: – Not my conditioned thoughts! But so much more than that. This re.cognition also brought my attention to the fact that if we don’t speak out, our body does it for us. This is what happened to me, my body rebelled and compelled me to stop and listen to it!
During my journey I came face to face with my unconscious and the amazing power of belief. The situation gave me the opportunity to directly experience my higher self creating amazing learning situations just for me. I rediscovered the much greater part of my Self which is ultimately in control of how the ‘story’ goes and how miraculously it manipulates this physical world just for you and me to really understand its messages. Because we are uniquely connected it seems to have the power to deliver just what we need. Each ‘story’ we have, is a personal message for us, and is expressed by a personal symbolic vehicle. By sharing it with others we get to really hear what that message is.
What I needed most when I returned from my journey was to tell my ‘story’ to someone who could reflect it back to me without going into analysis, judgement or any kind of problem solving or empathy. All I wanted was to be heard, a listening ear, and quality attention so that I could hear my own voice and really hear my true Self speaking to me!
Really hearing what your ‘SELF’ has to say to 'YOU' is incredibly empowering.
I was born on Remembrance day! And this is what I am doing, re-membering the Whole ‘Self’ – and in turn it’s parts. In particular that part which is often overlooked, with many different names: Higher Consciousness, Universal Self, God, Source, The Absolute, The Creator, Pure Love, and so many more! None of these will ever encompass that part of us which lies within and at the same time sustains and supports everything in this universe! These daily expression of ours are the arms and the legs of this ’Awareness’ and daily remembrance of this cultivates trust and allowance and in turn a natural alignment with our true nature.
Whilst trying to capture a feeling which can only be directly experienced, it dawned on me that actually there is really no-thing that we have to do to express this amazing experience of life, this Joy, because we are already totally Inspiring and naturally Expressing by the very fact that we are BREATHING moment by moment and that we have all, equally, been given this gift of life to express a unique part of the creator. If we withhold a part of the story which makes up the unique tapestry of life we are preventing this Wholeness from seeing itself in its entirety, in all its myriad forms of expression.
So for me, its about encouraging and giving each other permission to be who we really are, to express naturally without fear, to offer our story to add to this whole picture of life and to do this by offering attention, being in respect, by listening to ‘the other’ as if that person had a unique message especially for us directly from our beloved, our true ‘Selves’. Receiving this level of respect, this true love, in the present moment, one to another, furthers peace and understanding in the world and can rekindle that sense of connection we all long to feel. This ‘messenger’ opportunity has offered me a vehicle for clarity and has enabled me to hear it for my ’self’.
Finding a voice and a listening ear completes a circle of unity and connection.
Lets be that ‘ripple of change’ and extend some simple quality attention by listening to everyone we meet on this amazing journey called life, because it can make a real and mutually beneficial difference to each and everyone of us Here and Now.
Let’s really enjoy this amazing gift of Self Expression, this natural and universal talent we all share equally.
I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, at a time when it was considered preferable to be seen but not heard. From an early age I was conditioned to listen to my elders and not expect them to listen to me! I learnt that what I had to say was not valuable. This was frustrating because deep down I knew I had lots to share and more especially with my ‘Elders’. This was a period of great change and new beginnings and I knew I had been born to grow with this change and assist in bringing forward a new kind of awareness, a rediscovering of ‘love’ – true love – An understanding and remembrance of what this ‘love’ really is, what it really means.
My early childhood was full of freedom and I learnt from ‘experience’, a luxury for most children today – Mother Nature was my teacher and my guide until the age of nine. Soon after this, my outer freedom was halted, but in its place I found an Inner freedom - A sanctuary, where I found my In.dependence, a knowing guide, a trust and simple connection with all things. My outer world was in constant flux, but the inner world of my'Self' was safe and constant.
When I left school and the material security of my family was behind me and I headed out into the ‘world’ I witnessed so much hypocrisy and ignore.ance in so much of society, that I became disillusioned and longed for a new way to express and connect, other than through my ‘religion’, which up until now had served me well. I wanted to share the beauty and the joy that I felt inside, I wanted to celebrate life!
My insatiable interest in human consciousness - in how and what it is that makes us tick – has taken me in many varied and unexpected directions and each one has led to the awareness that fundamentally we all long for connection. This human need for ‘connection’, and this longing to belong, is the seed of many of our problems throughout history and nothing seems to change. With this desire to belong we have become inadvertently divided. Our longing to connect is separating us from each other because somewhere we have forgotten the knowledge that we already are connected, we already are one, we already are perfect, right now and that we don’t have to protect ourselves in ‘camps’ or ‘organizations’ that vie with each other to be ‘right’, to compete and be ‘better than’, but that we are all right – Yes alright – we are o.k. just as we are!.
The permission to be “just as we are” is what I longed for, to be fully accepted and received with my small offerings of humanness – of love.
Moving with the wave in the 70’s on this search for change and connectedness, I joined the experimentation with all the various quick fixes to feeling good and discovering new realities and finding a sense of place, but in doing all this I became depleted and began to feel an emptiness and I longed to reconnect with my source and the innocence I once knew. I concluded that if a new and heightened awareness and a real feeling of union could be triggered by stimulants from the outside, it made sense to assume that these same ‘triggers’ could be activated by natural means from the inside!
The simple feeling of ‘love’ I had felt as a child was beginning to elude me now and this love of life was what I was born to express. I was at a crossroads unable to move forward because I was out of connection with this ‘source’ and was unable to feel its pull and its purity any more, I had lost touch with that very experience I wanted to share.
I needed help. I longed for it. I asked for it. I prayed for it.
I had a dream: The dream released me from the false idea that I had to hold on to old paradigms, old beliefs and old ideas. It revealed that true knowledge is imparted moment by moment and that there is always someone alive and available to remind me of this and show me how to get back in touch with it, as all the Ancient Sages had done. Soon after this dream I found my Teacher and through a process of uncovering, of opening, of peeling away the layers of untruth, like peeling away the layers of an onion, I began to recognise my conditioning, recognise my inherent beliefs, witness my thinking mind, experience its fear and its trickiness, its control. I became a vessel, a channel, I rediscovered openness, I became clear, I entered ‘Self’ awareness, I became able to feel again, I became able to really feel. I was reintroduced to my inner child. The Presence, which never changes. I entered the perfection of the present moment and witnessed the light and beauty there. I felt pure unconditional love and I realised that this was me. It was within me! And it always had been, always was and always will be. I also realised that this experience is fundamental to every single human being on this planet and that this is in fact HOME! That all my fears derive from a series of false beliefs namely that I am separate, and that I am my thoughts.
This overwhelming and unquestionable experience of unity that I felt and the knowledge that we are all deeply connected and made of the same ‘stuff’ and flowing, day by day, towards the same ocean from which we came, has been the most profound foundation upon which my simple expression is rooted. My thoughts are tools to create and express my individuality and we are not separate but connected by the very experience of life itself.
Conditioning is like glue, it is transparent and difficult to see, but you can sense it – It prevents movement, prevents change, goes against life, which by its very nature is forever changing. Without this daily practice of awareness, this remembrance and coming back into the present moment to witness this and begin to remove it day by day, loosen its grip by chipping away at it with focus and concentration, we can be led astray by this ‘programming’. We are the choice makers; we do not need to be victims. There is a source which is working with this ‘Love’ – this creative power and it’s this which gives us life – it is this which allows us to Express and Inspire and remember who we really are everyday of our lives.
With this knowledge, so simple and so life changing and the urge in me so natural to want to share it, I found myself in another conundrum – How could I do that? How could I share that wholeness I felt? There seemed to be no language for it – it was obvious that the ‘experience’ was outside of the Thinking Mind and therefore impossible to share in simple words. I tried to capture its beauty through art and writing and creativity of all kinds. I dabbled in music, became a health practitioner and healer and ultimately realized that I was a ‘Jack of all trades and master of none’! This was o.k. as it furthered another desire I have; to step into as many shoes as possible to learn compassion and my journey so far has provided this - Witnessing what makes life so very special, seeing the unique talents we all have, the individuality. These infinite expressions of this ‘creator’ individuating through us, bringing this experience into the finite and how mesmerizing and exciting these offerings really are. This is ‘The Mystery’ - The one Mystery we must never solve because if we do, the world would collapse in on itself and become pointless. Literally!
I wanted to be inspiring, I wanted to voice what I knew, I wasn’t good at handling rejection and avoided it at all costs! I tried to live my life expressing as I could, searching for a medium which would reflect this source I was feeling, noticing the language of others by reading and listening. All the while practising this method of going within which I had been taught by my teacher, whilst bursting with renewed enthusiasm to share it.
My reluctance and frustration at not being able to voice my ‘experience’ and find the ‘perfect’ medium and my increased procrastination in speaking up and not taking my light from ‘under the bushel’ led to an illness which stopped me in my tracks.
I began an amazing ‘healing journey’ and went in search of a cure. What I experienced re.minded me and encouraged me to let go of control, to be in allowance and to truly remember who I am: – Not my conditioned thoughts! But so much more than that. This re.cognition also brought my attention to the fact that if we don’t speak out, our body does it for us. This is what happened to me, my body rebelled and compelled me to stop and listen to it!
During my journey I came face to face with my unconscious and the amazing power of belief. The situation gave me the opportunity to directly experience my higher self creating amazing learning situations just for me. I rediscovered the much greater part of my Self which is ultimately in control of how the ‘story’ goes and how miraculously it manipulates this physical world just for you and me to really understand its messages. Because we are uniquely connected it seems to have the power to deliver just what we need. Each ‘story’ we have, is a personal message for us, and is expressed by a personal symbolic vehicle. By sharing it with others we get to really hear what that message is.
What I needed most when I returned from my journey was to tell my ‘story’ to someone who could reflect it back to me without going into analysis, judgement or any kind of problem solving or empathy. All I wanted was to be heard, a listening ear, and quality attention so that I could hear my own voice and really hear my true Self speaking to me!
Really hearing what your ‘SELF’ has to say to 'YOU' is incredibly empowering.
I was born on Remembrance day! And this is what I am doing, re-membering the Whole ‘Self’ – and in turn it’s parts. In particular that part which is often overlooked, with many different names: Higher Consciousness, Universal Self, God, Source, The Absolute, The Creator, Pure Love, and so many more! None of these will ever encompass that part of us which lies within and at the same time sustains and supports everything in this universe! These daily expression of ours are the arms and the legs of this ’Awareness’ and daily remembrance of this cultivates trust and allowance and in turn a natural alignment with our true nature.
Whilst trying to capture a feeling which can only be directly experienced, it dawned on me that actually there is really no-thing that we have to do to express this amazing experience of life, this Joy, because we are already totally Inspiring and naturally Expressing by the very fact that we are BREATHING moment by moment and that we have all, equally, been given this gift of life to express a unique part of the creator. If we withhold a part of the story which makes up the unique tapestry of life we are preventing this Wholeness from seeing itself in its entirety, in all its myriad forms of expression.
So for me, its about encouraging and giving each other permission to be who we really are, to express naturally without fear, to offer our story to add to this whole picture of life and to do this by offering attention, being in respect, by listening to ‘the other’ as if that person had a unique message especially for us directly from our beloved, our true ‘Selves’. Receiving this level of respect, this true love, in the present moment, one to another, furthers peace and understanding in the world and can rekindle that sense of connection we all long to feel. This ‘messenger’ opportunity has offered me a vehicle for clarity and has enabled me to hear it for my ’self’.
Finding a voice and a listening ear completes a circle of unity and connection.
Lets be that ‘ripple of change’ and extend some simple quality attention by listening to everyone we meet on this amazing journey called life, because it can make a real and mutually beneficial difference to each and everyone of us Here and Now.
Let’s really enjoy this amazing gift of Self Expression, this natural and universal talent we all share equally.